Even a Blood Freak can find salvation.

Posted by LolHeathen on October 23rd, 2007.

Blood Freak

Have you wondered about the people who bring you loltheist? Well, we’re the type of people who intentionally look for the worst possible movies in which to inflict great psychological pain upon one another.

The scene above is from Blood Freak, a Christian proselytizing anti-drug horror movie. What happens when a Vietnam vet is called a coward by his girlfriend? Why he immediately shows her how manly he is by smoking pot and having sex with her. Now hooked, he heads over to a turkey farm where he takes an experimental drug that turns him into, the Blood Freak. Now a vicious turkey man (well, man, wearing a paper maché turkey helmet), the Blood Freak kills drug addicts in order to get his fix. Add in some rambling about the nature of the universe and man and god and the body is a temple and whatever else by the chain smoking director and you have an experience much like an icee headache, but longer and more pronounced. It has also been observed to stop time while waiting for it to be over.

As a bonus, the disc has several shorts including one about a nudist colony that a guy convinces his frigid newlywed wife to go to, complete with a disembodied voice subliminally repeating “Cooperate with your Husband” in the background. Oh, and naked twister.

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Categories: Advertainment, pop culture, Other Stuff, Christian humor.

2 Responses to “Even a Blood Freak can find salvation.”

  1. Rowan Says:

    come on, you’re just making this stuff up.

  2. LolHeathen Says:

    We take our bad movies seriously. Very Seriously. The dvd is sitting no farther than a foot to my left.

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