On the next CSI
Posted by LolHeathen on March 12th, 2008.
LOLTheist: Blasphemy is Teh Funneh
Because LOLcats plus Religion Equals High-larity!
(24 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5)
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- Sat, Nov 27, 10. Thanksgiving Over. Christmas commence. Or Commerce. Whatever.
- Fri, Nov 26, 10. Makes a guy long for a crucifixion.
- Fri, Nov 26, 10. Seriously people, stay at home with your families.
- Thu, Nov 25, 10. No one is ever happy.
- Thu, Nov 25, 10. It’s the same thing every year.
- Thu, Nov 25, 10. Happy Thanksgiving!
- Fri, Sep 17, 10. Im sure if you just asked
- Thu, Sep 16, 10. About time the devil had his due.
- Thu, Sep 16, 10. There was a flyer outside..
- Fri, Aug 20, 10. This just in..
March 12th, 2008 at 6:25 am
carp! I never thought anyone would look there!
March 12th, 2008 at 6:32 am
oh man! no colored eggs? no chocolate bunnies? (none for Bagel anyway)
guess we’ll just have to keep celebrating Ostara. (pagan fertility holiday, ripped off for easter in the first place)
March 12th, 2008 at 7:14 am
But Rowan, does Ostara have chocolate? It’s a requisite for any holidays I celebrate. Nothing will ever beat Cadbury Eggs, though.
March 12th, 2008 at 7:18 am
Oh, and I forgot: Katillac, you fucking rock!
March 12th, 2008 at 7:46 am
Actually, it wouldn’t surprise me if it’s all Bagel’s fault. She probably tipped the cops off, and because of her, there will no longer be chocolate Easter bunnies.
And MBHT, Cadbury Eggs are delicious evilness, and they shouldnt be purchased at CostCo/SamsClub by the dozen.
March 12th, 2008 at 8:17 am
!
This is a pic of greatness.
Heath, Rowan: As vile as chocolate is, it’s worse when filled with sugary spooge. How can ppl eat that stuff? Srsly, you ppl are disgusting.
Still, you’ve not spoiled my appetite. I’m going to have delicious mustard sardines, microwave porkrinds, and extra-sour homemade yogurt for lunch. I like it with chunky.
March 12th, 2008 at 8:29 am
Dude. Sugar. Pure. Refined. Concentrated. ‘Nough said.
While I’m happy that your appetite hasnt been spoiled, what you do in the privacy of your home is none of our business.
March 12th, 2008 at 8:39 am
guess we shouldn’t even mention the whole Peeps thing then huh?
Well I ain’t goin down for the murder. Nope! (points to no one in particular) SHE did it!
Or was it him? Dangit! Gotta get my alibi straight. I was at the mall, all by myself, buying peeps and no one saw me and I lost the receipt. But I was there I swearz!
March 12th, 2008 at 8:43 am
mmmm…peeps.
I like the hard-to-find purple ones.
March 12th, 2008 at 9:19 am
hard to find? really?
March 12th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
OMG The Bagel of Everything! Until I read that, I had a Cadbury egg on my desk, waiting to become dessert. I’ll never be able to eat a creme egg again. Thank goodness for the caramel-filled ones.
I gave the egg to my mother. I’ll spare you all the detailed description of how she ate it.
Purple Peeps are a lie! They do not taste purple! They’re fun in the microwave though.
Tankoo to My Babies Have Tails (i has a tail too!) & to LolHeathen for da nice email hehe
March 12th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Bad Bagel! See what you’ve done!
How can you sleep at nights.
March 12th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
I sleep best knowing I’ve done my share of evil for the day.
Srsly tho — you can’t blame me! Anyone who clicks a link labeled “filled with sugary spooge” deserves what they get.
Purple peeps do too taste purple!
Yellow ones are good too.
Something weird with the pink ones, tho.
March 12th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
That’s cause they’re commies!
March 12th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
wait, so if THAT’s what’s in teh cream filled ones…whut didja use for teh pnutbutter ones?
nvrmind, dunwanna know!
March 12th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
You know, i’m not talking to either of you.
March 13th, 2008 at 6:37 am
LOL! I’m sorry I couldn’t help it. Of course sick person that I am that lil gem came to me while I was eating a peanut butter egg. (evil grin)
March 13th, 2008 at 7:50 am
I take a couple of hours off to go to a funeral, and look what happens!
!. you found a fish in the tomb?
2. THAT”S what’s in a Cadbury egg? Richie Rich needs to fire that damn butler.
3. THAT”S what spooge is? omg. i like the word.
4. the other night my husband turned on the tv in the middle of Family Guy., the first words I heard was Brian: this peanut butter tastes funny. where’s it been?
Peter: on my penis.
5. one more observation about chocolate. I think that starting in childhood, we eat what we are given. our taste buds are obviously tasting food differently from each other, that’s why Mom loves broccoli and I call them trees cause that’s how they taste. Bagel, your taste buds just must not have been trained by Milton Hershey. I don’t taste poop, but I don’t like dark chocolate because to me it tastes spoiled or something. to me, the most bestest chocolate is Hershey’s kisses. I’ve had Godiva. I like Dove. but I think Hershey got me at an early age.
March 13th, 2008 at 8:24 am
Dark chocolate can be radically different depending on the source. Although I think only a fraction of people can taste the differences, there are other notes, like fruitiness. I usually only go for 60% or higher, though I like into the 90s. I even tried 100%, just because I had to know how bad it was. Yeah, it’s bad.
March 13th, 2008 at 9:20 am
You’re not talking to us, but you keep talking.
Who are you talking to?
March 13th, 2008 at 9:27 am
Are you talking to me?
Are YOU talking to ME?
Well, I’m the only one here.
Oh wait … no I’m not.
March 13th, 2008 at 10:07 am
Don’t make me post an entry with a picture of Chocolates of the World Bagel. I’ll do it. People still don’t understand the Bacon, think of what chocolate will do.
March 13th, 2008 at 10:31 am
No! Not the chocololate! Think of the children!
March 13th, 2008 at 10:31 am
I can handle pics of chocolate….
but I’d take it as a challenge.
You ain’t got the truffles for that, big boy.
March 13th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Mebbe u better warn me 1st so i can get some towels to catch teh droolz.
March 13th, 2008 at 11:29 am
http://www.customchocolatecandy.com/EasterCandy.html
Scroll down to “misc creations” and check out 10″ Crucifix favor bagged and Last Supper
I thought the “baby face” one would be far more interesting than it is.
March 13th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Choclit Jebus iz inside me!
March 13th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
There’s always latex if that doesn’t work for you. NSFW.
@Bagel – I will not be taunted.
March 13th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Yes. Yes you will.
March 13th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
(tries to think of a way to further instigate…thinks better of it & just sits back to enjoy the show)
March 13th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Nothing to see here, move along.
March 13th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Popcorn, Metz? Or how ’bout some chocolate puddin’?
March 13th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Only if I can dip my chips into it.
(not really)
March 13th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Oh, too funny! The amazon.com ad on the top right of the main page was for Cadbury Mini Eggs and Cadbury Flake Bars, among other chocolatey goodness. I shall never look at Cadbury the same again. Of course, it won’t stop me from eating it, but I’ll definitely have a bit of weirdness lurking in the back of my mind.
March 13th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Don’t even get me started on candy corn.
March 13th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Was it the sidebar? Those are Omakase ads based on stuff you’ve browsed through at amazon before.
@Bagel. Is nothing sacred? Candy Corn is one of the best things in the world.
March 13th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
not to be outdone, here I go:
1. I like chips and chocolate pudding. I like french fries dipped in chocolate milkshake. not a thing wrong with that. if there was, sweet and sour sauce would not exist.
2. you know you won’t be able to stay in those chairs, Metz ‘n Tails. you’ll be in the fray momentarily.
3. candy corn is the most perfect candy in existance. I buy enormous quantities in the fall to keep on eatin until jelly bean season.
4.a latex crucifix dildo has a certain dignity that a chocolate crucifix lacks. that may be the tackiest thing I’ve ever seen. can’t you see some little kid, bunnies and eggs in his Easter basket, and suddenly he’s confronted by a chocolate dead guy on a cross.
5. wasn’t it funny about Richie Rich? his butler’s named Cadbury? not funny? not?—–(trails off in a needy fashion.
6. I think I’m gonna keep reading ration reality, I’ve learned some interesting things about youze. like I think Bagel is a chick. didn’t know that. nice.
l
March 13th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Oh, I was wondering about the Ritchie Rich reference
Bagel claims to be a chick. Claims to look like Daria too. Attitude is about right.
March 13th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
French fries in mayo!
I don’t really like fries much either tho.
Weird…there aren’t many foods I don’t like. I’m not a picky eater, I swear!
Candy corn looks like old men’s toenails. I don’t like them, and I don’t much like peanuts — but if you put them together, I love them! Try it!
Bagel is totally a chick.
What interesting things have you learned?
March 13th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
@Rowan, of COURSE the joke about Cadbury was teh funne, but since Cadbury is so dignified we decided to honor him by not giving into undignified laftur.
March 13th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
So that’s how they get children hooked on that “body of Jeebus” thing! They use chocolate and cherry Kool-Aid and then later switch ‘em over to matzoh pieces and wine. Damn. I dropped out of catechism before they gave me booze. *grumble*
Bagel, wait. Old men’s toenails and peanuts? EwwwE
What about Circus Peanuts? I think they’re a precursor to Peeps with the gooshiness, but without the crunchy, sticky, sugary outer stuff. But no old man toenails. Again, ewwe!
March 13th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
In the ever increasing name of pointless trivia, Loltheist loves circus peanuts.
March 13th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
me too
March 13th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
me three. never tried microwaving one, though. you gotta try nukin the peeps, it’s a riot. suddenly the cup you put it in grows a huge balloon out the top. the minute the nukin stops, it collapses into a glossy sugar substance that is the hardest thing known to man. I think it hits the Moh’s at 11.5.
oh, and around here the question is nothing sacred is purely rhetorical.
hey, did you notice on the wordpress dashboard there are links to other folks who are talkin’ bout usns? mostly they just express admiration that we’re still typing like we haven’t been struck by lightning yet.
March 13th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
I saw a news thing on tv once about a little girl who microwaved a jawbreaker, bit into it, and it exploded giving her serious burns on her face.
You probably shouldn’t try that
March 13th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
We have a lot of word of mouth linkage. I’ve seen many, many blogs link us. There’s usually a burst of activity when something new catches on Stumbleupon. Which this thread did actually. But yeah, it comes and goes. It’s also so very surprising how many people don’t hate us. On occasion someone will say we suck, but like 99% of the link ins people like us.
March 13th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Mythbusters also did an episode on the exploding Jawbreaker. Not pretty.
March 14th, 2008 at 10:13 am
Rowan just mentioned Richie Rich and the Moh’s scale in the same thread.
I declare a WINNER.
March 14th, 2008 at 10:29 am
I will accept my due accolades, but will not stop playing.