And now a word from our sponsor

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Ok, not really, but since surprisingly we aren’t making ad revenue off google ads and their prayer ring tones and Christian T-Shirts, we decided to look through Amazon for something loltheististicly (I love making up words, LolTheist is cringing right now, be sure of it) appropriate.

What we found, and are continuing to find, is just really, really amusing. So, I’m dropping the first batch altogether here, so in the future, when the ads are long gone we can still look back and laugh.

If you feel really charitable, click through them before doing your Christmas shopping on Amazon, and we’ll get a stipend. But even if you’re not planning on shopping, these are seriously worth taking a look at. Without further ado…

Deluxe Miracle Jesus Action Figure I mean come on people, DELUXE Miracle Jesus! With GLOW IN THE DARK hands. Here at Loltheist.com we look for the absurdity in religious art, and we wonder how such paintings could ever have been considered reverent at the time. Guess some things never change.
Believe In God Breath Spray Ok, so they are, at least, not serious. Still, it made me laugh. Check out some of their other products which are just as amusing.
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Understanding Intelligent Design The only problem with the book is that while the cover is priceless, the content is depressing. Still, if you have an IDer in the family, this might be a good way to show your support in their misguided beliefs.

There’ll be more to come, but enough for one day, eh?

Even a Blood Freak can find salvation.

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Blood Freak

Have you wondered about the people who bring you loltheist? Well, we’re the type of people who intentionally look for the worst possible movies in which to inflict great psychological pain upon one another.

The scene above is from Blood Freak, a Christian proselytizing anti-drug horror movie. What happens when a Vietnam vet is called a coward by his girlfriend? Why he immediately shows her how manly he is by smoking pot and having sex with her. Now hooked, he heads over to a turkey farm where he takes an experimental drug that turns him into, the Blood Freak. Now a vicious turkey man (well, man, wearing a paper maché turkey helmet), the Blood Freak kills drug addicts in order to get his fix. Add in some rambling about the nature of the universe and man and god and the body is a temple and whatever else by the chain smoking director and you have an experience much like an icee headache, but longer and more pronounced. It has also been observed to stop time while waiting for it to be over.

As a bonus, the disc has several shorts including one about a nudist colony that a guy convinces his frigid newlywed wife to go to, complete with a disembodied voice subliminally repeating “Cooperate with your Husband” in the background. Oh, and naked twister.