If you haven’t heard, Guillermo Del Toro has decided to leave as director for The Hobbit because of prolonged delays affecting his other work. Like…. At the Mountains of Madness? Maybe? Hopefully? AtMoM is my favorite Lovecraft story, and I would love a proper, true to spirit movie adaptation. Especially with such quotes as “ATMOM is a delicate project to push through a studio: no love interest, no female characters, no happy ending…” Fuck yeah. A true mythos telling, big budget, top director, and only teased for 8 years!
So, sorry hobbittisses…. But there’s another master calling.
We just received a veiled threat from reader Jesus “Jeezy” H. Chris, about “watching” us blasphemers. He was too busy to deal with us though, what with NASCAR and all. But was quick to point out he can be found at Jesus’ Daily Blog. I wonder if this is anything like a Throwdown?
Oh, and don’t worry about our safety. Apparently a seat in heaven costs just fifty bucks. I don’t trust him though, he’ll probably try to up sell me. Or worse, it’s a monthly subscription.
Where’s the Devil when you need him? So you can make an honest deal.
I am always amazed at the people that read the story of Noah’s Ark and believe it is the literal truth. I suppose this can be said about all of the bible, but come on. How can people believe that entirety of the biosphere was put on a boat the size of a football field. The suspension of disbelief is staggering.
Ok, this is actually real. At least real enough to be carried by legitimate news sites. Apparently, poor broke Stephen Baldwin is not getting jobs in Hollywood because of his faith. But there’s a silver lining! Stephen’s spiritual advisor has a plan! So was launched a website for the Restoration of Stephen Baldwin. If every Christian were to just give a “token” donation, he, like Job, can be restored to, well, something.
I know you have questions, here’s some answers straight from the FAQ.
Q- How much money does he need?
A- From what I read in public court documents Stephen needs several million dollars to pay all of his creditors but he deserves hundreds of millions for his Job like faithfulness in the face of relentless loss and persecution.
Q- What about other people who are hurting in this economy?
A- Those that just came to your mind mail them a token gift also.
Q- What triggered you to do this?
A- In March of 08 I saw Stephen speak boldly for Christ on Trumps Celebrity Apprentice Show. Then in Aug 09 I saw Stephen and God being laughed at for his bankruptcy.
Thank god born again Christians have such a martyr in Stephen.
Loltheist and I watched it many years ago on DVD. Let me assure you, there is no need to see it in HD. Really.
Oddly enough, it’s a dollar cheaper on Blu-Ray. This means something I’m sure.
Much can be said of Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. It’s a movie I’ve meant to mention since the site opened. I don’t think today is the day we post about it in depth, but suffice it to say, if you like bad movies… Well, you’ll probably really enjoy JCVH. I mean, how can you not like a movie with lesbians and a mexican wrestler taking on the forces of darkness with JC, and that is a musical.
ETA: It should be noted it has one of the best back covers of all time.
The second coming is upon us, and Jesus has returned to Earth. But before he can get down to the serious business of judging the living and the dead, he has to contend with an army of vampires that can walk in the daylight. Combining Kung-fu action with Biblical prophecy and a liberal dose of humor, the film teams the Savior with Mexican wrestling hero El Santos against mythological horrors and science gone mad and also manages to address contemporary sexual politics. And did we mention that it’s a musical? This sure ain’t Sunday school.