Ok, so traffic seems to be normal, even spry today, don’t you people have someplace to go? You’re not cruising the web while your family is around are you?  This is a time to be with your family!

What if your mother sees you on this site.  Think of the explaining you’ll have to do.

She’ll be terribly disappointed in you.  That’s for certain.

Then she’ll have to go complain to your father that she thought they had raised you better than this.  He’ll have to remind her that you are grown and out of the house and beyond their control.  Of course, that makes it sound like he’s taking your side.  Exasperated, she’ll storm off vowing to make him wrap his own damn christmas gifts. Cursing under his breath, he’ll grab the scissors and tape, and we know where that leads. Half hour later you’re in the emergency room,  your mother isn’t sure who is worse, her husband for being an idiot or her child for bringing such filth into her life.

Christmas is ruined.

And it will be all your fault.  On the bright side, we do love traffic. You’ll probably be a big part of it now that you’ve been cast aside by your family.  Wait till your grandmother hears about this…